Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
