He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I would fuck him just for his dog
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
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