everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
the liver wants what the liver wants
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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