The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
