So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
