She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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