just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
