His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
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