I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
