our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
