can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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