i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
