You made me cry and you don't even care
it hurts more in the daytime
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
