you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
