I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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