it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
