if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
