Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize
