I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
