watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
