did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
