You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
