I feel like abortions should bother me more
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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