Sry I called you an 8
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
