HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
