All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
