i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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