You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
