I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
