whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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