We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
