and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
