its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
