ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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