Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Randomize
