Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
