I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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