I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I am naked and annoyed.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
