Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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