Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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