I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
