so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
