So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
