Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
