More tranny stories later!
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
