I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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