But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
