wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I'm like, not good at living.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
