i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
