If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
