there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
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