I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
